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PS写作通病

发布时间:2007-11-5 文字大小:  打印:打印此文

第一、字数过长。有的居然达到了1400字。Ps应该在800字左右,很多学校明确规定ps是300到500字,还有的学校要求是3500个字符之内。因此,除非特别要求,大家前往不要把ps写得太长,否则你千辛万苦努力的结果就是人家看也不看,仍进垃圾桶了。密歇根大学在其ps要求中提到的,你要follow required format and word limits。(http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/mich.htm

第二、 ps第一段,大家写作各有各的风格,但普遍存在文不对题空喊口号的问题。大家要把第一段写得独特和吸引眼球(Make your opening statement and first paragraph to be eye-catching and unique)。有的同学是拿着自己人生中一段非凡的经历开始,不过,这种经历肯定是要与专业有关的,否则就不要去写。有的同学以自己的家乡或者院校出了名人去写,就是离题太远了。有个同学写自己申请经济,结果上来就谈起了自己高中喜欢读莎士比亚喜欢问问题,然后突然转到自己非常喜欢研究经济。大家应该想想,这种思路是否让人晕头转向。还有的直接就写想申请某某院校的某某专业,然后就完了开始第二段,这种开头完全就是废话。有的同学反复照抄网上所谓的范文,一点新意也没有,看下面这句。Forrest Gump’s mom said life was like a box a chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. She’s right. On my 13th Birthday, besides a big chocolate cake, I also got a card。。。

Ps第一段应该以言简意赅的语言精练地提出文章的亮点所在,开头不宜故弄玄虚,不宜写成抒情散文,应该开门见山。有的同学申请博士,还在第一段谈起了初中的东西,并且语言非常不地道,翻译痕迹非常重。比如这句However, my brave nature dominated and made me stand again to confront the unsuccessfulness.

另外,不要用第三人称写。有的同学这样写,“Hey, it works!” the little boy was swamped with a sense of satisfaction。。。the little boy, actually I, has been in love with the fascinating 。。。个人陈述是写个人的,不要站在第三者角度,否则那就是推荐信了。

第三、下面谈谈中间部分。很多人写完第一段后,马上就开始这样的句式,Born in 。。,。。 Province in China on August 22,1980, after the National University Entrance Examination in 2000, I was accepted by XXX. Upon the acceptance, my major became…... Here, I received strict training not only in ….but also in …大家一定记住,ps不要去重复其它留学文书,比如推荐信和简历中将要出现的内容。不要都说,你以多少的成绩考入了什么大学,是什么专业,然后开始列举出一堆奖励。我们看看康乃尔大学ps写作要求(http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/cornell.htm). A personal statement is generally most effective when it concentrates on:(应该集中在以下几点时,ps才特别有说服力)这些方面是: an issue or experience that you feel strongly about, or one that has helped to shape who you are ;a significant accomplishment or contribution you have made to your field or community。你一定要去掉那些自我陶醉的、含糊不清的、过于抽象的东西,不要列举你得到了什么奖励(avoid self-congratulatory statements vague, abstract ideals laundry lists of achievements jargon and specialized vocabulary)

另外,大家都喜欢介绍自己的学校,但是你的介绍的要具体生动,不要总喜欢用什么prestigious和famous之类的话。有的同学这样写道, I went into a Univ. which won great reputation in telecommunication and IT field in China.什么叫great reputation,有什么具体概念吗?.大家不用停留在介绍学校方面,应该通过这种介绍迅速转入一点:你受到了high qualified的教育。

最大的问题,ps不要写成流水帐,每个段落要有核心句子。比如有的同学这样写道。In the first year , I was just a discreet learner, following the teacher’s step steadily . The second year , leader’s work in student government cost most of my time ,so I tried to be more efficient 这根本就不是.ps,只能算回忆录。请注意:你要把最重要的信息放在段落的开头和结尾(Put the most important sentences at the beginning and end of the paragraph. When people skim passages, they look at the first and then the last sentence. Make a good first and last impression with substantive statements. Don't begin or end on fluff.)

第四、除非特别要求,不要写成问答式的。有很多同学这样写。First, My old dream played a key role in my decision-making,然后一大段介绍。Second, My solid academic background,然后下面再一大段。一直到第六个My Family background。还有的同学这样写。WHY IS MATHEMATICS? WHY ME?这绝对不是ps,千千万万要避免这种回答。如同华盛顿大学ps写作要求中提到的(http://www.flytowest.com/ps/usps/wash.htm)Avoid overly common phrases and nonspecific information.(避免用那些太平常的词组或者不具体的信息)。

第五、不要写为国家和社会主义做贡献之内的比较空泛的话。Besides traveling to Taiwan, realizing the importance of experiencing the real world, in the past three years, I have grasped every opportunity to travel far and observe the dynamic society and economy of China.不要用同样的句式,比如有的同学总是喜欢用impress deeply这样的话,甚至一个段落中反复使用,要么就是不停地说intelligent。还有的就是句式雷同,Computer animation is my favorite and first choice,然后隔两句就写my primary and foremost interest lies in graphics and design。语言问题还有头重脚轻。比如Most computer majors look over this task because they consider it too easy; nonetheless, I do not agree.实际上,语言问题还是小问题。你可以花100元钱请个认真负责的老外,找个学校的角落修改一下,一遍communicate what you wish to say。实际上,关键的问题就是内容设置和结构布局。

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